Oops!

Bum Wrap

“Jean Baptiste de Chateaubrun (1685—1775) spent 40 years polishing and refining two plays, virtually his life’s work, only to discover that his housekeeper had carelessly used the pages as wrapping paper, losing them forever.”

—The Best of the Worst

Major-League Dust Up

”A deceased Seattle Mariners fan’s last wishes went awry when the bag containing his cremated remains failed to open as a plane attempted to scatter them over Safeco Field, the Mariners’ home stadium. Instead, the entire bag of ashes fell onto the closed roof of the stadium in one piece, bursting into a puff of gray smoke as it hit. A startled eyewitness called 911, and officials ordered the stadium to be evacuated.

“It took more than an hour for sheriff’s deputies to trace the tail number of the plane and determine that the mysterious substance on the stadium roof was the ashes of a Mariners fan, not anthrax or some other kind of terrorist attack.”

—Seattle Times

Gotta Keep ‘em Separated

“Dean Sims, 26, was left unable to use the toilet after undergoing an operation at Woolwich Hospital to remove an abscess from his left buttock. The former factory worker returned home and was amazed to find that his buttocks had been taped together with surgical tape. Said Mr. Sims, ‘How disgusting is that?’ Sims phoned the hospital, only to be told he’d have to wait until the next day to have the bandage removed by a nurse. ‘I’ve got to let them do it—I don’t want it to get infected,’ he added. ’Gangrene could set in.’

”His mum, Rita, said, ‘He’s in agony and getting cramps—he wants to go to the loo badly but can’t.’ A hospital spokesman said the bandaging was a mistake. Sims is demanding an apology.”

—News Shopper (UK)